I have been officially notified: I am elderly!
I received this not too welcome news when I was fingerprinted recently. No, I was not being booked into jail; it was just a routine exercise that I had not had done in many years.
In case you don’t know, there is new technology for such things. Instead of the old ‘ink on the digits’ routine, prints are now digitally taken. The only thing on your fingers is a bit of window cleaner or some hand lotion. The reasons for this odd combination are for someone else to explain. Just know that my hands were sprayed and ‘lotioned’ up vigorously.
In order to make it official, the finger print operator had a form letter that accompanied my copy of prints. The letter was not subtle in its message. In fact, it was blunt in explaining why my prints were unobtainable: I’m old. He could have pointed out that it was just my hands that were aged, but no, he gave the ‘elderly’ definition to my entire being! And he announced it out loud.
I did not know age made a difference in finger print quality. Who would have thought that we lose some of our identifying features when our hair begins to gray or we lose our shiny locks? And it didn’t help that the inebriated man in the cell next to the finger printing station noted in his intoxicated voice, “Well, she does look pretty old.”
There is good news in someone pointing out so indelicately that I have worn fingers: my ‘permanent record’ is flawed and I can’t be found if ever I do something wrong.
The only thing the authorities will know is that these prints belong to someone OLD.