blogging 101 · gardens · growth stimulant · humor

Growth Stimulant? Am I Too Short?

Someone asked me recently about ‘growth stimulant’.

I stood there looking confused, trying to figure out if he thought I was too short, or if my hair was thinning, or my feet weren’t long enough. What exactly kind of growth stimulant was he talking about?

He said he needed someone to help unload the stimulant, and I’m thinking, my gosh, he must be selling boxes of bottles filled with this magic formula. I didn’t know he was in that business.

I asked if he wanted someone who could handle heavy items, and were they going to put it in storage.

He replied that they would need to have a strong back, but the stimulant was not going to be put in storage, just unloaded.

So how much was he going to pay? And how long a job would it be? Would they need gloves?

He would like not to pay much (of course), and he wasn’t certain how long it would take (depending on how fast the person would work), and gloves and boots would be needed, since they would be outside.

I mentioned he might want to run an ad in the local paper, but being a frugal person, he thought perhaps I could do it for little or no money.

I looked at him skeptically, thinking, “He must be nuts if he thinks I’m going to lift boxes off a trailer or out of a truck.”

He assured me the stimulant wasn’t in boxes or bottles. Is it in barrels?

Finally it dawned on me: this would-be farmer had manure to unload. And he hoped I’d shoulder a pitchfork or shovel or whatever one uses to spread ‘growth stimulate’ in a garden.

manure

Needless to say, I did not volunteer, and I asked him to just use country terms for products…manure is manure, it may stimulate growth, but I don’t think we should confuse simple folks with fancy names for basic items. I do not want to put growth stimulant on my hair! Nor do I want to shovel cow manure as a sideline to my otherwise unproductive day!

 

 

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