Chili’s 2014 Christmas letter received a warm welcome from her friends across the country. Hope you enjoy her lamentings from last year.
Another holiday season is here and I have much to report about the trials and tribulations of being the alpha female in the house my ‘pet’ maintains.
As you may recall from my first Christmas message a year ago, I am the senior doglet of my human pet, who has yet to understand her lower position in the hierarchy of the domestic living we share. I continue to train on her, but I remain unsure if her reluctance to learn is an intelligence issue, a stubborn issue, or my instructional abilities (probably not).
Speaking of trials and tribulations, my pet brought in an interloper recently and this pest has disrupted our entire household. She is bossy, noisy, jealous, dominating, and doesn’t understand her place at the bottom of the importance ladder. She is under the impression that she is the queen of, well, queen of everything. She has caused chaos in my world, acting as though she rules, when we all know she doesn’t rule, but is ruled.
Her name is Jasmine, or Jazz as my pet calls her when she forgets to go outside to do her ‘business’. She is really a slow learner, and doesn’t know how to follow my lead in bodily functions. Some would say she’s not quite bright, and I would have to agree. You should see her when we go on walks. She looks like a windup toy trying to keep up with me. Impossible and hysterical!
She can’t seem to find her own place to ‘go’ either. When she sees what I’m doing, she nudges me out of the way so she can water the same area. Extremely rude, if you ask me.
My pet left town for about 3 weeks as she travelled in Europe this year, and it was wonderful. Her trip was ‘BJ’…that’s ‘Before Jasmine’, and it was the last peaceful moments I’ve had in months. A friend kept me at her home, feeding me tons of treats, taking me for daily walks, and treating me as a queen should be treated. Heavenly.
I’m sure that my life will get back to normal as soon as I can complete my training on this dimwitted intruder who wants to share the affections of my pet and sleep in my bed.
I do hope your new year is free of furry gate crashers and your holidays are filled with lovely treats supplied by your pet. As I mentioned last year, if you would like to respond, my pet can be reached at the email below. She will share the clever messages with me. The others will be deleted.
Merry Christmas to you and yours,
Alpha Female of This Household