In our society, what we do is one of the first things people ask us. Usually our jobs define us, setting the stage on which we perform. Our self-image is wrapped up in what we do for a living, our accomplishments, our income, as though the reason for our being is based on ‘doing’.
I remember my husband asking me if we could spend a year just ‘being’ and not ‘doing’. I quickly agreed, having no idea what he was talking about. We were headed off for a yearlong venture in Australia and New Zealand, without any predetermined place to be, time to be there, or things to do.
It was the first time since I was a small child that I was without demands being placed on me. We didn’t know anyone, we had never been to either country, and we were free to let our lives flow freely, enjoying the moment as it appeared.
It may have been one of the hardest things I had to learn to do: ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’. No lunches with friends, no schedules to meet, no outside expectations. Just deciding each morning, or each hour what we wanted to do right then. What would satisfy our souls at that moment: reading, sleeping, walking on the beach, driving to a new spot? We were free to decide without self-imposed timetables.
So what did we do those 12 months? We saw a lot of country, we watched a lot of sunrises, I learned to scuba dive, we enjoyed train trips, we walked to the market, and we met new friends. We just ‘were’, learning to be comfortable with who we are.
Interesting, in those two countries, folks didn’t care about what we did or didn’t do as an occupation. I wasn’t asked once about my ‘long term plans’ or my career path. As one Aussie explained, ‘We work to live, and you Yanks live to work.”
How true it is.
I’m looking at retirement as another adventure into ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’. Certainly I will do things, but having the time to pick and choose what feeds my innermost calling can be uncomfortable, but also extremely liberating.
That means I can stay up until 3 a.m. and sleep until 10 a.m. I wish my doglets understood my ‘liberated’ sense of timing.
that little voice 
How marvelous that your husband wanted to take the time to do that. It is not many people who even think that way.
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He was suppose to say no when I suggested we take 3 months off. He said let’s take 6 months off, and we compromised on a year!
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Love the concept of “being” not “doing” but wonder if I’d have the strength to do it – I’m sure I’d turn myself inside out before achieving it, lol – kudos to you and your husband!😄
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It was a really major challenge for me. Jack took to it easily but me… Not so.
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That sounds exactly how my husband and I would be, lol!
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Right
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I love this post. I’m approaching a full year since I retired, and in the past months I have increasingly embraced the “being” and not the “doing”. This surprised me, in that I dreamed for years about being able to write full-time, but now that I have that hard-earned luxury, the writing has lost some of its allure. I still enjoy it, that’s still a main focus, but this freedom to do whatever you want is extremely satisfying. If I want to spend the entire day reading a good book or organizing family photos or learning Spanish or figuring out how to make the best Alfredo sauce ever, I can do that. I don’t have to be anywhere or account to anybody about my daily activities.
My partner is annoyed by my seeming lack of focus, dismayed that I am not doing something he deems worthy of improving my life (or at least keeping the house clean with precise regularity), but he hasn’t retired yet so he doesn’t know about this miracle of each dawn being another opportunity to pursue whatever I want. After decades of doing what is expected of me, this freefall of pure self-interest is amazing…
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Amazing and freeing. All this non structured time can be liberating but frightening. Enjoy, hibernate , fly, and follow your own voice. You’ll find your place, your speed, your pace. Have fun.
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Yes! We are human beings, not human doings! 🙂
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“We are human beings, not human doings!”
I love that 🙂
Can I quote you somewhere?
Ann
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You may need to ask Kathy at the backyard nbird nerd. I think she said that in her response to my post.
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Yes, I was asking her this way…
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But of course. 🙂
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ahhhh.
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Good point. Maybe it just our culture that insists we ‘do’. Hard to break that habit.
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Great idea because life is too short not to just “be”!
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Wow! I knew there was something I liked about cutting down on the work a bit. It is time to do the “being”. Then to start doing what I want to do.
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I remember when my husband and I were on our first summer mission experience in his home town. I felt at a loss. I did not know what to DO or how to go about DOING it. I was really anxious and felt really helpless. Well, I prayed and I remember the “voice” that spoke quietly into my mind to tell me this: “Just BE…..”
What a relief, to just BE in that community and to deal with whatever came to hand in that “being”, knowing that that was exactly what God wanted of me at that time.
I’ve never forgotten the lesson…..
Ann
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So often we don’t take the time to listen to the voice…and if we hear it, we ignor it. That’s one of many benefits of meditation for me. Thanks for your comment.
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What an amazing thing to experience. You are right, more often than not we do define ourselves by our job. That’s pretty sad, we’re so much more than that.
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Yes we are. It’s one of the things I’ve had to work on…identifying myself without a job title.
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How insightful! By just ‘being’ we can take some time to ourselves to truly think and reflect. Quite interesting.
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I’ve known people who are ‘being’ while ‘doing’. I think they love what they are doing so their work translates into being. Hopefully that makes sense!
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