computers · Help Desks · humor · Support

Me Vs. Computers

I really hate to admit how inept I am when it comes to computers, technology, or almost anything that has an electrical plug and a cord attached.

And another phase of that embarrassment is that I’m intimidated by all of the above. There is a small, but loud, voice that sings out in panic whenever I come face to face with having to solve a problem stemming from my electronic tools. call center 6

“Don’t Touch It. Don’t Touch It. Don’t You Dare Touch It!” reverberates in my cranial cavity, warning me we have been here before and I should let someone else attempt to rectify whatever is wrong.

You would think that being a blogger, an avid Snood player, and a user of a computer for hours each day, I would be qualified to boast that I know my way around the various secrets of Windows and my iPhone.

Sadly, not so. And when I find myself stumped, I reluctantly call immediately for help. This means I call the numbers I have listed on my bulletin board for various agencies, businesses, help desks, support teams, call center 8 and parents of 4 year olds to save me from myself and the damage I will do if left on my own.

When I call a help desk, it is critical that I need instructions given in English preferably by someone who uses English as their first language.call centers 2

I do understand most of these call centers are located in some country I can’t locate on a map, and certainly don’t know their language, but it does not make it any easier for me to make sense of what they are saying.

In fact, add in that I wear hearing aids and can’t hear at least a third of what they are saying, it makes for a long one sided conversation. The helpful person starts talking very fast, and after the fifth sentence when they don’t take a breath, I start yelling, “Wait, Wait, Wait!!call center 12 I don’t understand what you are saying. Slow Down? Repeat. Wait. I still don’t understand.”

We have this exchange for something like 4 times, the helper is frustrated, I’m frustrated, everyone in the room with the support person is wondering why I’m screaming, and my computer sits there with no expression whatsoever on it’s monitor, benighly staring at me with no interest or concern. call center 4

After talking to a supervisor or 2, I usually get an answer that works. But if I don’t get a satisfactory answer, I then pack up my ailing computer and make my way to the DICU (Doctor for Illiterate Computer Users), where it will stay for a week. I then retrieve it, have a conference with the DICU to get an explanation for the reason the sound won’t come on: there is an ‘x’ next to the speaker icon on the bottom right side of the computer screen.

Now, please, who would have known that? Do you really think I look at all those little symbols decorating the bottom of my monitor? And who knew it was called a monitor? I thought it was the computer face.

After paying for this computer lesson 101, I dare the DICU to make any snide remarks about my electronic astuteness…or lack thereof!
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12 thoughts on “Me Vs. Computers

    1. Oh I won’t give up. I just need to make friends with someone who knows more than I do about these ‘things’. Of course, most anyone will know more than I know, so thTs not much of a hill for someone to climb.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Computers are wonderful when they work and perfectly awful when they don’t. Finding a tech friend or a course is a wonderful idea. When I first started out I hired a high school boy to give me individual tutoring. It was the best thing I ever did. He was fun and I learned so much (without an accent).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate. Computers can be extremely frustrating. I learned a lot about computers when I worked. The IT staff was on premises which helped. If I had to call for help, I requested an English speaking person with no heavy accent. I have literally taken computers apart and put them together. If they blow up, then adios. I have 3 computers and they don’t dare misbehave.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel your pain. I recently spent several days chatting with Dell and Microsoft Technical people in the Philippines and various other exotic locations. It didn’t end well. I used to be pretty tech savvy but I’ve reached my saturation level and the new and exciting developments are well beyond my capacity. Good luck with yours. I am enjoying your blog.

    Like

  4. I used to consider myself tech savyy, working in the telecom industry and all, but the changes come so fast and furious these days that it’s hard to keep up. Sometimes I wonder if we weren’t better off with a Big Chief tablet and a Husky pencil… 😉

    Like

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