I really hate to admit how inept I am when it comes to computers, technology, or almost anything that has an electrical plug and a cord attached.
And another phase of that embarrassment is that I’m intimidated by all of the above. There is a small, but loud, voice that sings out in panic whenever I come face to face with having to solve a problem stemming from my electronic tools.
“Don’t Touch It. Don’t Touch It. Don’t You Dare Touch It!” reverberates in my cranial cavity, warning me we have been here before and I should let someone else attempt to rectify whatever is wrong.
You would think that being a blogger, an avid Snood player, and a user of a computer for hours each day, I would be qualified to boast that I know my way around the various secrets of Windows and my iPhone.
Sadly, not so. And when I find myself stumped, I reluctantly call immediately for help. This means I call the numbers I have listed on my bulletin board for various agencies, businesses, help desks, support teams, and parents of 4 year olds to save me from myself and the damage I will do if left on my own.
I do understand most of these call centers are located in some country I can’t locate on a map, and certainly don’t know their language, but it does not make it any easier for me to make sense of what they are saying.
In fact, add in that I wear hearing aids and can’t hear at least a third of what they are saying, it makes for a long one sided conversation. The helpful person starts talking very fast, and after the fifth sentence when they don’t take a breath, I start yelling, “Wait, Wait, Wait!! I don’t understand what you are saying. Slow Down? Repeat. Wait. I still don’t understand.”
We have this exchange for something like 4 times, the helper is frustrated, I’m frustrated, everyone in the room with the support person is wondering why I’m screaming, and my computer sits there with no expression whatsoever on it’s monitor, benighly staring at me with no interest or concern.
After talking to a supervisor or 2, I usually get an answer that works. But if I don’t get a satisfactory answer, I then pack up my ailing computer and make my way to the DICU (Doctor for Illiterate Computer Users), where it will stay for a week. I then retrieve it, have a conference with the DICU to get an explanation for the reason the sound won’t come on: there is an ‘x’ next to the speaker icon on the bottom right side of the computer screen.
Now, please, who would have known that? Do you really think I look at all those little symbols decorating the bottom of my monitor? And who knew it was called a monitor? I thought it was the computer face.