Alone · eating · humor · Living Alone

Secrets of Living Alone

Living alone certainly has its advantages, but there are some rules one must follow.

The first one is you must eat out regularly. This rule is required so that you don’t forget the niceties of communal dining. In other words, this exercise forces you to use a fork instead of your fingers, and not to slurp your food, which is commonly done when alone.

Secondly, it is important to change the sheets regularly…no matter how clean you think you are. When you begin to see an outline of your form in the bed clothing, wash the linens!

And just how many weeks do you use your towel without a tumble in the washing machine?

Now, these seem a bit strange to those of you who are living with someone else. Somehow when you are sharing space, it seems more critical to scrub more often. Perhaps we think someone else’s dirt isn’t the same as ours, or perhaps it is I don’t think I get as dirty as others. Not clear about the reasoning, but trust me, it is a fact.

The third rule: plan to have overnight visitors at least once every 2 months. This forces you to take a critical look at your living space and throw out old newspapers, spray room freshener in the spare bedroom, change out towels in the guest bath, and fold the clean clothes that are still sitting in the laundry basket from 5 weeks ago. We have found that getting our underwear from a basket is just as easy as getting it from a dresser drawer.

What this says about the single folks of the world is that we have learned to take shortcuts in our lives. We understand that no one is going to complain if we dribble food down our t-shirt, or sleep in a non-Victoria Secrets gown, or sleep in anything at all.

Yes, that is one of the advantages of living alone, no one knows, or even cares, what your sleeping attire is. Now that is freedom at its best!

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25 thoughts on “Secrets of Living Alone

  1. Love this one and agree totally!

    Dr. Billye Givens

    Dean of Language, Humanities, and Education Division

    Eastern Oklahoma State College Pratt Hall 104

    1301 W Main Wilburton, Ok 74578

    Phone: 918-465-1764

    Fax: 918-465-4472

    bgivens@eosc.edu

    Like

  2. If darling Andy was not around, I’m sure I would forget to brush my teeth, eat out of the food containers, shower once a week (if necessary), leave the dishes overnight, and who knows what else. I might end up sitting at the computer for days. And, I would definitely stay up most of the night.

    Like

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