The question of whom I miss has been asked by the author of All About Writing and More blog https://allaboutwritingandmore.wordpress.com/2017/08/26/answer-this-question-117/ and it has led to some interesting internal conversations with myself.
For instance, is it the person I miss? Or is it the activity or the memories I have that I want to recreate? Is it the age I wish I could grasp once again? Or the feelings of innocence that once filled my being? Do I miss the person I first kissed, or the excitement of doing something ‘forbidden’?
After a bit of bantering between the left and right sides of my brain, I decided to answer the actual question that was asked…who do I miss, not what do I miss?
But then the debate began again.
Don’t I miss my Grandmother who loved me unconditionally? What about my parents who protected me, provided guidance, and offered opportunities that enhanced my life?
Don’t I miss my best friends from high school and my devoted doglet Joy who was my loyal companion and buddy for 13 years?
Of course, I miss them all. But do I ‘long’ for any of them? Do I want them back in my life? Will they fill an empty spot that I feel deep inside?
Gosh, how complicated I’m making this simple query.
I do have an answer.
Who do I miss?
I miss myself. I miss the little girl who squealed with delight when the swing went high in the air. I miss the child who felt the thrill of danger just before stepping off the high diving board into the unknown.
I miss the youngster who cried when she fell off her bike and ripped a hole in her new Roy Rogers pants.
I miss the teenager who wanted desperately to please an older sister. I miss the baby who giggled without embarrassment.
And I miss the man who helped this adult woman bend down, look into the eyes of that small child, embrace this waif who had been left behind, and bring her home, back into her life.
Yes, I miss him, but he left me with my inner child who delights at life in all its wonder. I don’t want to ever miss her again.