I’m about to finish up the April A2Z Word Challenge. I know, I’m a bit late completing all the letters, but when you are my age you can make up the rules! Here’s my next to last one, even though Z is the last letter in our alphabet. X is yet to come.
Z for Zipper
I could claim zippers are the bane of my life, but they aren’t quite that annoying.
I react to them as though I am six years old, fearful a piece of material or a slice of me will get caught, never to be extricated. You would think by the time I reached 70+ I would have outgrown my fear of this genius of fasteners, but no, I continue to be skeptical of my ability to maneuver a simple zipper.
Where I have the most concern is when I have to start from scratch, as in a jacket. Threading one side of the clasp to the little straight piece on the opposite side, and making certain I have it securely connected so I don’t pull the dangly thing up and, oops, it slips and I can’t get it down and back on track.
Because of my dread of being forever locked into some article of clothing without an escape route other than scissoring through a perfectly good hoodie, I now look for apparel with elastic waists, or buttons or snaps.
I’ve found if I go into a store and am offered assistance finding a piece of attire, it is better not to mention I am only interested in non-zipper outfits. I’ve tried that and I’m sent to the children racks to rummage through baby things.
Besides, another irritation I find with zippered pants is that if I can get something over my hips, then the waist is too big, requiring the need to have a belt. I’m not crazy about belts, in fact, I only own one because I lost some 20+ pounds recently and didn’t want to buy clothing that fit before getting home. Going through security at the airport proved to be embarrassing. I had to remove my newly purchased garment holder-upper, and when I put my arms skyward in the body-searching cage, my pants headed downward. That is not something one wishes to share with people you have never met, but with whom you may be spending the next several hours locked in an airborne jet.
I have decided, all pants should have elastic waists, and all tops should be held together with either buttons, snaps, ties or velcro…anything but zippers. That will ease my 76-year-old mind.
(Just so you know, there are multiple online articles on how to fix sprung zippers, how to treat body parts that have been stuck in a zipper, and how to keep zippers zipping smoothly.)