changing · Discovering

Who Did I Think I Would Be?

Discovering me.

I have spent my 77 years on a journey to ‘discover me’. And every few years I find that who I thought I was isn’t who I am today.

Now, that is confusing. Who I was in my 20s seemed to look and feel out of kilter to who I was at 40. And by the time I reached 55, I barely recognized the 22 year old I had been.

Now here I am in my mid 70’s, remaking my life in a significant manner, or so it seems to me. Alone, moving to another country, not knowing people, the language, or the customs, buying a home under construction, emptying my life of possessions accumulated over seven decades, and wondering “Who am I and what am I doing?”

To my surprise, I’ve discovered I am resilient, I am versatile, I am comfortable in being who I am today, knowing I will change in the next 24 hours and certainly in the next 10 years, and I am a happy soul.

Learning nothing remains the same has been a difficult lesson to embrace, but after continuously being slapped in the face with that reality, I am free to flow, letting go of my fear of change, and striking out in what direction feels right today.

Where I am headed, I know not. What rivers will I cross, what mountains will I climb, what oasis will I discover? Not a clue. But I’ll make it through the not knowing and wake to find a new me.

And probably I will be surprised who appears as me. I may be someone I didn’t expect to be.

What about you? Did you visualize yourself a certain way only to find you weren’t her/him?

Thanks to the blog Ladies Who Lunch Reviews for her post questioning her future. It inspired me to think about my own life. Read her musings at

https://ladieswholunchreviews.wordpress.com/2019/07/02/monday-musings-about-july/

9 thoughts on “Who Did I Think I Would Be?

      1. I think some people don’t embrace it and become fearful curmudgeons. That’s always sad.

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  1. I think in many ways I am far different than what I visualized way back when, but in some I am not much different. I have learned that the only constant is change, and I have learned to embrace that change. Most of the time. I believe the good part of the aging process is finding more peace than when I was young.

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  2. At the time of my being her, who I was then, it now seems fitting, as does the more that I am now because of then. 63 and counting, I am more than satisfied with the who of me as I am, knowing that then I was who I needed to be, and so the same now. That said, I’m happy to still be here looking forward to the awe and surprise of who I still am to be as I age, coming soon!

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