Self-isolation is tough on my ego.
I currently have too much time to contemplate what I do or don’t do. I’m faced hourly with a list of ‘shoulds’ weighed against ‘coulds’. Actually, it’s more than hourly, it’s closer to every 10 minutes.
The silverware drawer needs organizing.
Yep, but I need to drag out my summer clothes and put away my winter clothes. And, those geraniums I purchased last week need to be repotted.
The dogs need to be walked. I want to read a book. What’s the latest on the coronavirus?
Indecision and a lack of discipline seem to grip my focus, toss it in my cluttered closet and slam the door shut.
Reality seeps in…I’m lazy!
I have known this since my earliest days when digging in the dirt was more interesting than dusting the bookshelves, or when hanging out with my friends was preferable to cleaning the bathroom.
Wasting time was a specialty I perfected at an early age, but I’ve worked hard to hide it. One does not receive lots of accolades for being a ‘waster of time’. And I’m a glutton for accolades.
Now, sitting alone in my casita with my two dogs, it is impossible to find activities that will get me praise or attention. So, how about I play a game on my tablet for just a few minutes? Four hours later, I haven’t moved and I’m starving, and the dogs haven’t been walked, and the winter clothes are still hanging around, and who cares about the silverware drawer?
After a snack, it’s midday and too warm to walk the pets, so it must be nap time. No meetings are scheduled, no demands are pressing, so a catchup session with emails is in order.
Since I’m in the ‘more susceptible Coronavirus group’ because I’m old, interacting face-to-face with other people lacks wisdom, according to health experts, so the doglets and I head out for a walk on the wild side: the mostly deserted park.
What I see there is proof that love and distancing are incompatible. Youngsters are tucked in corners sneaking kisses, holding hands, making out, as we called it in my day, and obviously hiding from parents. They occupy park benches and shady walkways, sharing secrets and learning about love.
I’m not clear whether I admire their sincerity or I’m jealous of their youth. Whichever, the dogs and I distance ourselves by 6 feet and head home for more unproductive time.
It’s hard to admit a week of social distancing has passed and I’ve accomplished nothing.
I do have another seven days or seven weeks or seven months to do all those ‘should’ chores.
But hey, a few minutes of game playing on my computer won’t hurt anyone, will it?