Social Distancing Hostage

You know you’re a Social Distancing Hostage when:

1. You’ve watched 3 hours of videos showing people in Australia putting out trash bins dressed in homemade costumes before 9 a.m.;
2. You’ve taken 4 naps in a 24-hour period every day for 8 days;
3. You’ve experimented making 13 recipes of Cajun gumbo without garlic, shrimp, andouille sausage, and Tabasco sauce;
4. You don’t know what andouille sausage is;
5. You’ve read every trashy romance novel available for free on Amazon;
6. Your only social interaction is waving at the trash collectors at 6 a.m. on Tuesdays;
7. You’re fascinated with the videos on how to cut your own hair
8. You’re having two-way conversations with your dogs about canine hygiene
9. You’re having any conversations with your dogs;
10. You’ve sent out 4,500 Corona Virus tips to people you don’t know
11. You’re correcting the English of telemarketing callers from Who The Heck Knows Where just to prolong the conversations
12. You’re having any conversations with telemarketers
13. You’ve bonded with your face mask so much you are sleeping with it on
14. You’ve left facemasks taped to all doors and windows instructing would-be burglars to put on protective covering before entering
15. You’ve cleaned out the freezer and are halfway through the ‘fridge.
16. You delight in hearing cars go by

Who can get bored with all these things to do?