I’ve been thinking about what I’ve introduced to the world, or even to myself, lately.
What new thought? What new idea?
What new person have I met? What new emotion have I felt? What new action have I taken?
Frankly, living in my cocoon of isolation I’ve become lazy: mentally and physically.
Tucked in the recesses of my mind I have believed ‘this too shall pass’ and soon, while in reality the Covid-19 virus will probably be influencing our lives for many more months if not years.
Which means, I need not look at this as a vacation but rather as the norm. And that is going to require I resume exercising and creating in new ways.
I would like to do my water exercises, but that’s not possible since I don’t have a pool, public pools may not be safe, and my bathtub is more the size of a foot bath than a full body experience. More walking is beneficial, if I stay away from other people and their dangerous spewing of bacteria while just breathing.
I could exercise my mind by reading new books rather than spending hours watching and listening to pundits explaining in detail the wreckage this disease is causing throughout the world.
And I could sign up for more Zoom meetings. Four or five a week may not be enough to keep my mind active and my emotions on an even keel.
I could learn to sew masks but getting a button back on a shirt is more of a challenge than fixing a meal, which is way above my pay grade.
Oh, the excuses I create for remaining idle. I seem to be drifting, not accomplishing, just stewing in my own juices of inactivity, and feeling guilty for not saving the world, or at least attempting to leap those imaginary tall buildings.
Boredom conjures up visions of greatness. But Reality exposes my lack of introducing anything worthwhile.
I think I will blame this laziness on Covid-19, I can’t handle any more shame.
God, it sounds like you’re echoing my own thoughts. I’m exercising and reading, but I still feel disengaged. I socialize, but still feel like I’m drifting, no purpose. Must be a common feeling, huh?
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Apparently it is a common feeling, based on some of my responses. Once more I’m reminded that we are all alike…if I’m feeling it, others probably are too. Does that mean we aren’t alone, after all?
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Carry on thinking up the excuses. That’s enough work for now!
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I’m an expert at excuses.
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A wise friend recently told me that there are many forms of intelligence but her favorite is the capacity to adapt. We are all learning to settle in and adapt to a new and very different reality than the one we inhabited 6 months ago. With deep love and acceptance, Onward!
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Yes, onward is better than backward, even if we can’t seem to find the path ahead.
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Couldn’t sleep last night so sat in a chair staring out at the darkness and thought many of your exact thoughts! Is it contagious? 😉
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It must be, but doesn’t necessarily start with a fever…just the frustration of not knowing what’s ahead. Oh yeah, those sleepless nights too.
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I have this wish that this year would just be over, please, thank you. Except at my age, wishing away time is foolish, and who knows what next year will bring? I think I spend a lot of time fighting that feeling of defeat, but I know I’m not spending a lot of time being productive. Well, I am weaving quite a lot. I am reading more now than I have for years. I am spending time on my front deck just watching nature, enjoying the green and the sunshine, and in the evening sitting in my big chair, looking at the evening sun shining its golden rays on the spray from the sprinklers when the watering system comes on. I think I am more aware of the world immediately surrounding me than I’ve been for awhile now. And I’m growing microgreens, because that satisfies my gardening urge without a lot of work as well as provides me with nutritious additions to my smoothies, my salads, my sandwiches. So there is that. But oh I so want to go visit someone far away, I want to go out for a lunch with the girls, I want to spread my wings.
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I remember vaguely I once had wings…now where exactly did I put them? I seemed to have stored them out of sight and out of my mind. Sigh…
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I love your posts. This one really resonated with me (unfortunately). If this ever ends I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to function the way I used to. Frightening thought. And, yes, I feel guilty as hell for not being productive, creative, helpful. Linda
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On Sun, Aug 9, 2020 at 2:01 AM that little voice wrote:
> that little voice posted: ” I’ve been thinking about what I’ve introduced > to the world, or even to myself, lately. What new thought? What new idea? > What new person have I met? What new emotion have I felt? What new action > have I taken? Frankly, living in my cocoon of i” >
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