Waiting

I don’t know why I’m nervous, it’s going to be over soon.

These months, well years, of waiting.

I hold my breath, and suddenly realize my shoulders are tight, my nerves are tingling, and today the waiting ends.

The ‘what ifs’ sneak in, my anxiety pitched above reason.

“Let go,” my mind screams, but my emotions will not give up their  vigil of heighten concern.

Hope mixes with doubt causing a concoction of confusion. I just want this to be over and my version of good, right, proper to prevail.

It isn’t a game of football or a boxing match, it’s an election, the determination of where our country goes from here. Maybe the outcomes aren’t that different, but in my mind the two sides are battling, each vying to lead, struggling to be the ‘winner’.

Does there have to be a winner and loser? Oh yes. Our country, and perhaps the countries across this world, will be impacted, changed, their futures forever altered as results are announced. Our place in this universe, the lives of our citizens, the dreams for tomorrow will be determined not by Lady Luck, not by the roll of the dice, but by each person’s mark on a ballot.

Who knows what those ‘x’s will proclaim? I’m having to depend on you and you and you and you. No wonder I’m tense, frustrated, anxious, ready to cry, hoping for joy and not fear. I have no control. I can only wait.

I will gasp or sigh, sob or shout, grieve or celebrate when I hear the results.

It is November 3, 2020, Election Day in the United States of America.

Will it hurry and be over?