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Ain’t Aging Fun?

My mother once told me that looking good when we get older isn’t hard, it just costs more.

At the time I was younger and didn’t quite understand…but today, I’m getting a much clearer picture of the price of looking good as I age. 

Such things as wrinkles, grey hair, unwanted hair, wrinkles, thinning hair, shifting of weight, and I think I mentioned wrinkles seem to become constant worries. And these are just the signs that are obvious to the Dairy Queen attendant who says she will give you the Senior Citizen discount without you having to mention you’ve earned it. 

It’s also those other ‘age related’ changes that occur that aren’t obvious to the eye, like ‘where are my glasses?’ or ‘why am I in this room?’ or ‘what town am I in?’ Now, that’s a scary one.

Notice, I haven’t mentioned flabby arms, or your major investment in antacids, or the fact that men lose their backsides and women find them. See, it’s not just a female issue. Men have their aging challenges too. 

I have a friend who says her husband can walk through the house, shake his hips and his pants just fall to the floor because he has lost his behind. It apparently just ‘fell off’ one day. And one gentleman pointed out he doesn’t have to wear socks anymore because his ankles are blue. That’s a guy issue. Trust me, a woman will put on white socks to cover up blue ankles!

So now we start looking at costs to cover up all maladies that come with advancing years: hair coloring, hair extensions, lipo suctioning, support stockings, toupes and combovers for you gentlemen. That’s a partial list because what about false teeth, trifocals, hearing aids…you get the picture.

I think my mother may have been talking about the cost of more expensive clothing and better makeup. When you are 60 you just don’t look the same in a $10 halter top as your 16 year old granddaughter. You may have to pay $40 for a blouse that will cover up that tummy that the teenagers are desperate to showoff. 

And what about all that cleavage? No one seems to be standing in line to see a 70-year-old in a low cut top, not that there are lots of 70-year-olds who are eager to wear a cleavage exposing getup. 

All of this is to say: sometimes what our mothers tell us is true. It does cost more to look good as we get older. Or you can just buy a larger pair of sweat pants and a bigger t-shirt and love your body just the way it is.

8 thoughts on “Ain’t Aging Fun?

  1. That is so funny/not funny. hahaha. Very well written and relatable. Thanks for the laugh. I shared with my husband, and he’s still laughing, too.

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  2. Tunics, loose tops, pants with stretchy waistbands, pullover bras – yeah, that’s my uniform these days. Might as well accept what your body is – loving it might be going too far – because looser skin, bigger belly, lower behind all come along with those wrinkles and floppy jowls and that’s how it goes.

    Like

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