Silence pierces the quiet, and I strain to hear voices. Are they here, or have they slipped out without alerting me? A visitor in my step daughter’s home for a month and quietness permeates the walls. They seem to whisper, murmuring. Or is it my deafness that mutes their voices? Cabinet doors shut with barely… Continue reading Silence
If you are going to change things, find someone who knows how to help you, and affix them permanently to your side. Or you can live in darkness wandering around the forest biting your nails, yelling to the heavens, gritting your teeth, and succumbing to desperate pleas to your computer that pays no attention to… Continue reading The Dangers of Change
Things I wish I had said or done. Things I wish I hadn’t said or done. Those were the questions someone asked recently, and my stomach roiled, my eyes went into the deer in the headlight’s mode, and I felt the need to run from the room to hide in disgrace under the bed. The… Continue reading My Legacy
You were my first sexual partner. But not my last. You were my first husband. But not my last. You were my first divorce. But not my last. You were my first failure. But not my last. You weren’t the first to die, I guess firsts aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
For many years I didn’t believe I would ever retire. It was not a money issue, but a matter of desire. I loved working, and couldn’t imagine I wouldn’t want to work forever…or for as long as my health held out. I was fearful of retirement, not sure what I would do, afraid I’d lose… Continue reading A Time to Retire
It’s been 27 years since I lived through the devastating earthquake in Northridge, California. You would think after two decades the memories would be diminished, but in fact, they make my heart beat faster, and create an almost panic feeling of helplessness. It triggers my need to flee, quickly. But there is often no place… Continue reading Friends to the Rescue
To like or dislike is not the question, but rather in what way we use it. It is common for me to declare, “I don’t like her or him”, perhaps based on their political views, their religious believes, their attitude toward minorities, or the way they look at me. And I have to remind myself… Continue reading Like and Dislike
Aloneness Aloneness forced by nature, perhaps to slow movement, allowing a clearer view of living. Stopping pursuits, exposing feelings. Learning myself, igniting the twigs of creativity as kindling begins a warming blaze. Fire erupts, insights born in the rising smoke, freeing restraints, clearing vision, making way as fears and joys emerge.
A river of division separates our country, and we face the challenge of how to cross that divide without destroying and polluting the center. I’ve been struggling with how to clean up this river, make it navigable and accessible for all people. And I wonder what I expect and/or anticipate to happen as we search for… Continue reading Crossing a River
One thing this alone time (called social isolation) has forced and/or enabled me to do is write and learn how to maneuver my way around Zoom. I was not forward thinking enough to invest in Zoom 10 months ago which means I have not benefitted from increasing my net worth due to the millions… Continue reading Zooming through Covid-19