December arrives like a sleigh with faulty brakes. You are instantly transported into the Great Countdown: twenty days before the Big Day and at least twenty before Release Day, when we collectively swear never again and mean it for almost eight minutes.

Holiday Overload begins the moment you walk into a store, turn on the TV, or open WhatsApp. One peppermint-scented advertisement, one last turkey weighing more than your car, and suddenly you are three cookies deep into crisis management.

Between locating ingredients for brown gravy, explaining to your family why the only turkey left was twenty-five pounds for three people, and trying to remember if wrapping paper counts as a deductible, you are now fluent in festive panic.

If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms, take comfort that you are not alone. You are simply an adult in December.

• Mild panic or sharp desire to relocate
• Sleep interrupted by to-do lists or fruitcakes
• Restlessness followed by sudden cookie immobilization
• Sweaty palms, cold feet, or tingling in areas best left undescribed
• Breathing inconsistently, as though your lungs are also making lists
• Heart palpitations, specifically near mall parking lots
• Dry mouth from repeating “I’m fine” too often
• Weakness caused by seeing the credit card total

You may be tempted to seek solutions. Experts recommend the following. Please note, I am not one of those experts.

• Create a budget, assuming you still have finances
• Remember perfection is a myth, especially in family gatherings
• Meet with a counselor, mostly so you can point to someone when asked who agreed this was a good idea
• Lower expectations. Your mother will still be your mother. Your father may still require supervision
• Meditate by imagining yourself in a distant place free of ribbons, deadlines, and people who say “relax”
• Then take a walk to locate transportation to said place

The good news? Holiday Overload only lasts another twenty-five days. After that, we return to our regularly scheduled anxieties. Some involving turkey leftovers.